Dark Obsessive Compulsive Force Rising
by JediYvette
Summary: Episode 7 is here...finally


Dark Obsessive Compulsive Force Rising  
Obsessive Compulsive Star Wars Episode 7  
  
Disclaimer: I still do not own Star Wars...not YET anyway  
Note: It was suggested by a reviewer to do another one based on Episode 1 characters. While the title suggests that this is based on another book, because of the reader request, this is about 'The Phantom Menace.' I apologize if there is any confusion.  
  
  
  
Yoda was staring in the mirror of the bathroom of the Jedi Council building. He was staring sadly at his white hair. 'Nappy my hair is," he mournfully noted, "And so old, and senile I look." Then the idea hit him. "Dye it I can!" he shrieked, as he jumped off his blue plastic step stool, ad ran into the kitchen, returning to the bathroom victorious with several packets of Kool-Aid in his wrinkled hand. "Awesome, my hair will look. Recognize me the other Jedi will not." Laughing gleefully, Yoda started to mix his concoction in the bathroom sink.  
  
Darth Maul was holding his newest glass swan in his hands reverently, as he walked into his bedroom. Delicately, he placed on his shelf...with the other 3,750 porcelain, or crystal swans. Admiring his collection, Darth Maul stared at the shelf-That is when Darth Sidious bellowed, "Where are my Hostess Donut Minis?" Darth Maul rolled his eyes and looked up at the ceiling of his room. Darth Sidious eaten the last donut 20 minutes before. Resigning to the fact that he would have to go to the store, and buy more, he waved at his swans, and left the room, searching for Darth Sidious.   
  
"This is a very good book," Obi-Wan commented as Qui-Gon sat at the same table as his Padawan in the cafeteria of the Jedi Council building. Holding up the book, Obi-Wan continued, "Dr. Seuss is a literary genius."  
  
Darth Sidious was bashing in the empty box of donut minis. "Why do only 18 come in a box?" he asked furiously, though no one else was in the room, "That only lasts about 12 seconds! I must call Hostess, and tell them to make an economic size of say...5, 674 donuts."  
  
Again, Yoda was staring in his mirror, though know he was overjoyed. Instead of white nappy hair, he had orange, green, yellow, and purple striped, uh, nappy hair. With a victory yell, Yoda ran out of the bathroom, and entered the Jedi Council room, ready to see the other Jedi's reactions.  
  
Darth Maul hated waiting in line. Especially at the grocery store. Way too many insane people there. Impatiently stamping his foot, Darth Maul stared at the long line, of which he was at the end of. All he wanted to do was buy 5,896 boxes of donuts. Its not like he was buying out the store, or anything. And they weren't even for him. Tapping the beat of "Swan Lake" on the handle of his shopping cart, Darth Maul continued to wait impatiently in line.  
"Say cheese everyone!" Mace Windu excitedly shrieked, holding his camera ready to take a picture. All the Jedi in the council room, stared at Mace Windu, but made no move to smile. "Cheese I like," commented Yoda, as he walked in with he new hairdo. The confused silence grew to one of shock. "Look my best in years I do," when no one made any attempt to compliment Yoda. Finally, Mace replied, "I must take your picture!"  
  
"Swans!" shrieked Darth Maul, as he looked at the pond of the zoo. Several other zoo visitors stared at him, but he paid no heed to their looks. They didn't understand the beauty of swans. "Come here, swany," Darth Maul cooed, "Come to Darthy." The swans made no move towards Darth Maul, and in fact swam the opposite direction. "Please come back," Darth Maul whispered somberly, but alas, they didn't return. Hunched over, trying not to cry, he got into his ship and returned to Coruscant.  
  
"One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish." Obi-Wan muttered hypnotically, as he read his newest Dr. Seuss book. Sitting in the middle of the Main Jedi Council Room, curled up in his Green Eggs and Ham comforter, and in his wearing his Grinch pajamas, he continued to read. That is when Mace Windu barged in and snapped another picture. Obi-Wan didn't notice. He was too engrossed in the book.  
  
"Donuts," Darth Sidious muttered, "Must have more donut minis." Darth Maul looked up from the swan picture he was painting, but instantly directed his attention back to it, when Sidious made no suggestion of Darth Maul getting more. Just as Darth Maul was about to paint the swan's wing, Darth Sidious commented, "You know, I think Fred, The Jedi Master Meyer store has mini donuts on sale." Annoyed at having to stop painting, Darth Maul threw down his paint brush, and left Darth Sidious muttering "Donuts."  
  
"Maybe, like my hair the others will if I use less yellow, and more purple. Less Green, and more blue. GREEN, I MUST HAVE!" suddenly, Yoda was hyperventilating, hold 47 different flavors of Kool-Aid. Finally, he threw them all in, and mixed, hoping everything would turn out all right. Of course it didn't...  
  
"Do you have any swans?" Darth Maul asked the pet store owner. "Of course not," the owner replied, "Swans are wild animals. It is against the Republic Animal Protection law to sell them as pets." Angered by this, Darth Maul pushed the owner against the brick wall of the store, whispering, "I must find a swan!" When the owner again protested, Darth Maul threw his against a display if gold fish, sending glass, water and orange colored fish flying throughout the store. He then left, very bitter.  
  
"I think the Grinch was really mean to take away all the Who's presets. Why did they let him cut the Roast Beast at the end?" Obi-Wan asked Mace Windu. Mace Windu was too busy taking pictures of a roll of duct tape on the cafeteria floor. Mad, Obi-Wan left abruptly, muttering, "I am Sam, Sam I am."  
  
Grabbing the box of donuts before Darth Maul could get through the door, Darth Sidious ripped it open, and started to devour its contents. "Hey," he responded after eating 11 of the 18 donuts, "These are powder sugar covered, not chocolate." Afraid he would have to buy more, Darth Maul apologized. "No," Sidious responded, "These are very good, and I need to watch my weight anyway." Relieved that he didn't have to buy more chocolate donuts, Darth Maul started to leave, wanting to dust his swan collection off. However, once he was in reach of the door knob of his room, Sided sweetly replied, "Mind getting me more?"  
  
Shaving off the mud colored locks, Yoda sadly stared as they dropped to the floor. "Kool-Aid I hate," he muttered, "Gone. Hair gone." Scooping up the over dyed hair clipping, he angrily stated, "Evil Kool-Aid is! Why sell it as hair dye I do not know." After throwing away the hair, and inspecting his bald head, Yoda mournfully walked out of the bathroom. "Say cheese!" exclaimed Mace Windu. Before he could protest, Yoda's picture was taken. "That film you will give!" he screamed, "Or dead you will be!" Mace Windu ran from the scene laughing, closely followed by Yoda yelling profane words. "Shut up! Obi-Wan yelled, "I am watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas...again!"  
  
  
  



End file.
